Saturday, May 26, 2007

It's all about YOU. . .

Whatever happened to "polite" conversation. You remember that, don't you? It happened in the long ago and the far away. For those of you too young to recall, I can assure you it's not just another urban myth, there was a time when people were actually interested in the lives of others.

In times gone by when taking a promenade on a Sunday afternoon, gentlemen would tip their hats at passing acquaintances. The ladies would nod or wave. Although this may seem a bit too Victorian, until very recently people did seem more interested in others.

If, for social motives, you met with others for an occasion (cocktails, lunch, dinner, etc.), one did, indeed, indulge in the art of CONVERSATION. Others were actually happy to see you and they asked you about what was going on in your life. People exchanged information and actually took turns talking. They acknowledged what was being said and responded to it. The participants gave "equal" time to the topics discussed for fear of seeming too egocentric.

Fast forward to the the ME Era. The "let's get together" so I can tell you all about ME society. The "I'm so cool or clever or interesting" generation that I don't really give a damn about what's going on in your dismal existence but I'll grace your world with my superior experiences and offer you a reason to live. The "I don't have to follow any social courtesies" club because what I have to say is far more interesting (to ME) than anything you have to say.

I call it the "Age of the Monologue." Suddenly, everyone has the oratory aspirations of Fidel Castro (lol). People no longer desire to communicate with others of their species for social or educational purposes - they now require an audience.

Gone are the days when folks sat around shootin' the bull. Many in the ME Era believe that they have been blessed with the gift of gab and that each time they speak the masses are spellbound. They spend so much time pacifying every id impulse that they don't even feign interest in the rest of us. They are too self-absorbed to realize that there are still some people on Planet Earth (hello??!!) that are mindful of making others uncomfortable so don't call these bores on their quest to sate their own demand for attention.

So the next time you are thinking of "holding court" remember that there is a tool (and open source at that) in the Age of the Monologue that accommodates circumstances such as these - it is called "You Tube." You can upload your soliloquy for all of cyberspace to tune into, while I can gently, politely turn you off.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Ouch . . .

Near the end of last term (Term 2) one of the little boys kicked one of the little girls and made her cry. Not fake crocodile tears that kids can turn on and off at will, but the big teardrops that stream down the face of the recently kicked (literally or metaphorically speaking). I sent him, accompanied by the classroom assistant, directly to the Principal's office (do not pass go, do not collect $100). We have to draw the line somewhere! Before leaving the room he began to justify his behavior but I wasn't having any of it. There's absolutely NO kicking allowed. I don't know what the principal did or didn't say to the little boy (who, by the way, I really like). I didn't ask and I don't really care. The principal brought the boy back to class, the boy made his apologies (reluctantly) and life goes on.

Term 3 - bigger kid, bigger problems (14 years old - bigger but not the biggest, yet). This term I've been contracted (by the parents) to help a kid with behavioral problems. Without getting into a lot of particulars just suffice to say that this boy shows the telltale signs of the overly indulged. His behavior is infantile. He doesn't show the minimum courtesy that even a very young child would. Words like please, thank you, and excuse me aren't in his vocabulary. BUT in art class today (1st thing this morning I might add) while sitting at a table of 2 other female classmates (also around 14) and myself he DID blurt out an interjection that was inappropriate and disrespectful.

Before everyone that knows me starts calling me a hypocrite because I can come out with a string of 4-letter words that would put dock-workers to shame, let me speak my peace.

I don't have a problem with the vernacular, I DO however have a problem with the inappropriateness of it all. There's just some stuff that you don't say in front of your teacher, your friend's parents, your grandmother, your boss, the Queen or some old chick your parents hired to help you pass the year. You can THINK whatever you want. There isn't a "thought" police force (if you don't count the Catholic Church hahaha) and you can sit in a meeting and think that the others in the room are a bunch of fools, morons, idiots and d**k-heads. But you keep it to yourself.

So this morning we had a double period of art (yes, you didn't miss anything. I accompany this teen to each of his classes and try to help him stay on task. I might add that I'm losing the battle. LOL) and my ward used a word that was totally inappropriate. I brought this to his attention - reamed him out about it was more like it. Told him that I didn't appreciate it and that he could say whatever he wanted when he was with his buds but not at a table with two 14 year old girls and me. He apologized. About 20 minutes later he used it again. This time I got highly pissed and told him that I was going to call his mother and tell her. (Actually I tried getting in touch with her 3 times today and there was no answer - so tomorrow is D day). Sidebar: Although my Portuguese is weak, I can call you a dirty so-and-so in Portuguese ;-).

The deal here is that there are roughly 6 BILLION people all trying to make it through the day every day. In order for all of us to live together on this planet, we each have to make some concessions to accommodate the others. That means smiling sometimes when we would rather not. That means saying "yes" sometimes when we want to say "no". That means sometimes being diplomatic when we really want to do it (whatever "it" is) our way. That means sometimes zigging when you really want to zag. That means not giving in to every id impulse and sometimes going along to get along.

Like I said, we have to draw the line somewhere. If we didn't, we would be kicking and getting kicked all day long.